Sisterhood

Having a dispute with sister is not a comfortable feelings, at all. There’s this feeling to clear things in the way, but the ego is just won’t give up. A simple matter can cause years of ignorance. Time heals, or so they said. Though every relationships has its own ups and downs, sisterhood is something close to women’s being. A sister is a friend for life, source of energy. I want to share the letter I wrote to my sister when we had a big big fight and feeling akwards after that. Thanks God time does heal and most of all, the power of let go is doing a great job (again)..

Old Friend in Bali!

For as long as I remember, I didn’t have many friends. I picked my friends carefully. I never enjoyed hang out with so many people like many teenagers usually did. I never enjoyed being with so many people talking loudly about almost nothing. It’ll be so tiring for me.

Spiritual Relationships

Quite sometimes, now. Lots of things happened. Begitu banyak yang menyalakan bibit-bibit pertumbuhan spiritual dalam diri..I’ve seen things and people changes now. I’ve seen myself changing and growing, too.

Tadi liat Oprah, topiknya tentang “hubungan spiritual”. Bahwa yang terpenting adalah “intentions”, NIAT kita terhadap sesuatu. Terutama terhadap hubungan-hubungan personal yang kita jalin dengan orang-orang dalam kehidupan kita saat ini, terutama keluarga dan pasangan.

Woo-Hoo Well Documented

Just saw another ‘home video’ by mobile. Sepertinya semakin banyak saja orang –terutama youngsters yang mendokumentasikan aktivitas ditempat tidur tersebut (meskipun gak mesti diatas tempat tidur dan gak mesti tertidur setelahnya). I’m not against it, at all. Bahkan jika mencermati ‘alur ceritanya’, tampilan dan kemasannya, they’re treated each other well enough. Meskipun dengan gaya basic dan seadanya, toh they’re treating each other well. Katanya semua ego ditanggalkan seiring menanggalkan pakaian yang melekat. And they did it good enough on that..what an observer, them.

Narrow Minded

People can be so narrow minded, you can’t imagine how they can let themselves become one. Because how we become as a person, is really our own decision.

Beberapa waktu lalu, seorang teman yang saya tau ‘sangat normal’ (berarti dia mengikuti semua standar-standar kehidupan normal agar bisa disebut sebagai manusia ‘normal’ juga : menikah, punya anak, hidup lurus-lurus saja, melihat hidup dari sisi hitam dan putih saja, padahal hidup sangat abu-abu, semua mungkin terjadi) sempat menggumamkan sesuatu tentang “selingkuh”. There’s a song written about it, tentang “selingkuh sekali saja”. I knew he addressed that to me, because he couldn’t help himself for not asking me ; “it feels good, right?” And I simply said that sure if feels good, it can be done over and over again, according to the situation, and then I left with such a big question mark inside my head. I mean, did he really think that he KNEW why I broke up and now with somebody else (a much better one, of course) ? And judge me for doing an affair, a betrayal? But then I remember that he was a ‘victim’, because his girlfriend cheated on him once and left him for somebody else, of course he’s being negative when he thought an affair is happening. But what a stupid girl, it turned out that later on she pleaded to come back but he refused her and he said bad things about that girl.

There’s an urge to straighten his judging mind, but then I knew it’s useless. His mind is not capable to accept that whatever ‘bad’ things which happened in our life, is simply because of us. People come and go, we can’t blame people for all the bad things in our life. Whether we think they betray us, do us harm, we can’t blame others. Simply think this way : it happened, so it must be something that really need or have to happened, because nothing can prevent it from happening. IT HAPPENED. Why people think they are so ‘great’ that they deserve only the good things in life? What about things which make you uncomfortable or sad or hurt? Do you think you’re not deserve those? But it happened! Do you think the higher Being (or just God) made mistakes, miscalculate things on how this universe works? Do you think you’re a victim, because you think you done ‘nothing wrong’ and yet bad things happen in your life (good and bad is our mind concept too).

Feeling Blue..

I begin my day in an “average” mood, never thought that in the middle of the day it can switch to this kind of mood. Not sad, but it made me cry.. It’s not a negative feelings but it just that- it reaches to certain layer within me that made me cry. I realize that at this stage, I really felt the need to share my good energy for people that I actually cared about, despite all the things that once happened along the way.. All this time I believe that if I can keep giving my good energy, compassion, empathy towards certain people who believe that I done them wrong, that somehow I hurt them..I believe they will understand sooner or later- with the help of Time- that it was really a lesson in life. Both for me and all the relationships I’ve ever had with people around me.. And I’ve seen it works today.

Feelings can be so strong, it may blindfolded us to see the way that made for us in the beginning..But that kind of feelings for me is really a tremendous experience in life that help me to grow, help me to see my own darker side and bring it to light, making it a more mature feelings, feelings that have seen a lot. Whether people give me happiness or bitterness or perhaps both, I knew I’ll always feel grateful because they add colours to my day by day lives..

There are certain people that has become my inner circle, that somehow I believe we will always be connected spiritually, and will meet again someday in our life, in a more enlighting moments. For that, I will always think of them dearly, sharing them my good energy simply because they’re one of my inner circle for this moment of life..

Fertility Test

Menikah, bagi sebagian besar orang bisa jadi merupakan impian, atau cita-cita semasa anak-anak. Khususnya bagi anak perempuan, pesta pernikahan merupakan dongeng abadi antara putra mahkota dan putri raja yang berakhir “bahagia selamanya” begitu pesta pernikahan usai digelar selama 7 hari berturut-turut dan dihadiri rakyat diseluruh penjuru negeri.