Narrow Minded

People can be so narrow minded, you can’t imagine how they can let themselves become one. Because how we become as a person, is really our own decision.

Beberapa waktu lalu, seorang teman yang saya tau ‘sangat normal’ (berarti dia mengikuti semua standar-standar kehidupan normal agar bisa disebut sebagai manusia ‘normal’ juga : menikah, punya anak, hidup lurus-lurus saja, melihat hidup dari sisi hitam dan putih saja, padahal hidup sangat abu-abu, semua mungkin terjadi) sempat menggumamkan sesuatu tentang “selingkuh”. There’s a song written about it, tentang “selingkuh sekali saja”. I knew he addressed that to me, because he couldn’t help himself for not asking me ; “it feels good, right?” And I simply said that sure if feels good, it can be done over and over again, according to the situation, and then I left with such a big question mark inside my head. I mean, did he really think that he KNEW why I broke up and now with somebody else (a much better one, of course) ? And judge me for doing an affair, a betrayal? But then I remember that he was a ‘victim’, because his girlfriend cheated on him once and left him for somebody else, of course he’s being negative when he thought an affair is happening. But what a stupid girl, it turned out that later on she pleaded to come back but he refused her and he said bad things about that girl.

There’s an urge to straighten his judging mind, but then I knew it’s useless. His mind is not capable to accept that whatever ‘bad’ things which happened in our life, is simply because of us. People come and go, we can’t blame people for all the bad things in our life. Whether we think they betray us, do us harm, we can’t blame others. Simply think this way : it happened, so it must be something that really need or have to happened, because nothing can prevent it from happening. IT HAPPENED. Why people think they are so ‘great’ that they deserve only the good things in life? What about things which make you uncomfortable or sad or hurt? Do you think you’re not deserve those? But it happened! Do you think the higher Being (or just God) made mistakes, miscalculate things on how this universe works? Do you think you’re a victim, because you think you done ‘nothing wrong’ and yet bad things happen in your life (good and bad is our mind concept too).

Balik lagi ke masalah selingkuh itu. Kenapa kata itu bisa menjadi sedemikian negatif? Bagi mereka yang merasa menjadi “korban” perselingkuhan, mereka akan menyalahkan pasangannya yang berselingkuh, menuduhnya sebagai penghianat, dan meragukan ‘moralitas’ orang tersebut. Apakah tidak ada ruang untuk melakukan introspeksi diri, “WHY THE HELL IT HAPPENED TO ME?” Take a good look inside you, why the person left, why they choose to be with somebody else OTHER THAN YOU? Kenapa merasa sangat percaya diri bahwa tidak ada satupun “ketidaktepatan melangkah” alias dosha, on YOUR side? Alih-alih introspeksi diri, you start to BLAME OTHERS because they left you for somebody else. Just accept, you’re just not the person they’re happy to be with. Don’t blame others, don’t blame yourself, stop blaming! Just realize it CAN happen.

Semua orang punya hak untuk menentukan garis jalannya sendiri, dan semua orang sedang menjalani garis karmanya masing-masing. Ketika garis karma kita bersentuhan dengan orang lain, ada banyak hal yang bisa kita syukuri dan pelajari dari persinggungan itu. Tapi ketika itu berakhir tidak sesuai dengan apa yang kita kehendaki, kenapa harus protes? Bukankah setiap moment yang kita alami dalam hidup telah mengajarkan kita sesuatu? Tidak ada satupun orang atau kejadian-kejadian dalam hidup kita yang terjadi begitu saja tanpa alasan. Hidup itu untuk MENGALAMI. That’s why enjoy every moment ketika itu masih berlangsung, live right HERE and right NOW. When you do this, nothing can disturb you, nothing to regret either.

Tapi ketika kita meletakkan begitu banyak energi di masa depan, masa kini akan terlewat begitu saja tanpa pernah benar-benar dialami. You’ve missed the whole point, you’ve lost it. Ada kebiasaan akut untuk hidup di masa lalu dan di masa depan, dan benar-benar lupa untuk hidup di hari ini. Dan ketika orang terkasih memilih untuk pergi dari sebuah hubungan, memilih untuk bertumbuh sesuai dengan potensi dirinya daripada menghabiskan sekian banyak energi untuk mencoba seirama, apa hak yang kita punya untuk melarangnya pergi dari kehidupan kita? Just shake hands and goodbye. Untuk apa mempertahankan hubungan which leads us nowhere? Of couse there are memories, but everybody should move FORWARD, not BACKWARD. Forward dan backward inipun berbeda bagi masing-masing orang, tergantung potensi diri, mimpi, dan way of life masing-masing orang.

Berada dalam situasi dimana orang-orang terlalu sibuk memikirkan orang lain, bisa jadi sangat melelahkan, sedemikian banyak pikiran-pikiran negative tertuju ke kita. That’s why, ini merupakan sebuah pusat pelatihan mental yang sangat efektif, karena it’ll make us grow stronger as a human being. So a little advice for me : just live my own life according to my own way of life, move forward, being grateful for people and things which come and go into my life, and everything will be fine, because LIFE IS FINE. It’s human mental sickness to assume that life is not fine. Even if life makes you miserable, you’ll get use to it. Don’t be such a heroic, just accept yourself, accept life, and live!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: