Having a dispute with sister is not a comfortable feelings, at all. There’s this feeling to clear things in the way, but the ego is just won’t give up. A simple matter can cause years of ignorance. Time heals, or so they said. Though every relationships has its own ups and downs, sisterhood is something close to women’s being. A sister is a friend for life, source of energy. I want to share the letter I wrote to my sister when we had a big big fight and feeling akwards after that. Thanks God time does heal and most of all, the power of let go is doing a great job (again)..

For a couple of days, I thought about you with sad, anger, and hurt.

But then I dream about you almost everyday, always a nice and fulfilling dream.

By then I realized I missed you so very much.


I wish there’s a ‘logic’ explanation to clear up things about that day.

I never did by purpose have a will to disrespect you.

I never did ever thought to be dishonest to you.

I never did mean to throw harsh words to you.

I know there’s a lot of useless thoughts in me, but to do you harm…never.


I checked on my inbox, hoping there’ll be one of those silly e-mail from you or Bouba.

But didn’t find one.

I try to compose one, but worried I might convey the wrong message.

I rehearse in my head over and over again- the day we will meet again.

But still too worried you might just too upset to see me.


I am sorry to make you upset.

I am sorry for my hysterical behavior.

I am sorry for my harsh words.

I wish I can explain how I’ll never want to disappoint you in anything, in any aspect of my life.


You are my fire-starter, no doubt about it.

I want to spend all those happy and silly moments again, as well as the tough and long discussions when you try to put me back ‘on the right track’.


I feared I might lose this sisterhood.

Who knows I might just a kind of a slow-growth person and can’t catch up with you.

I feared you might just lose your appetite to have me as your little sister.


I know this is office hour and I’m not doing office things, very unprofessional.

I know I strife every word I type, my eyes swollen, I looked very unprofessional also.

But I can’t keep it, I just have to write you this.

As honest and desperate as I am, please be my ‘as usual’ big sister again..









2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. rhosie
    Nov 11, 2008 @ 02:56:07

    nice post…thanks for sharing…indeed i agree having a misunderstanding towards our sisters is a very heavy feelings…but i think part of being matured and growing up that conflict arises…but what matter is at the end of a day, the love and care reign…i have also some petty fights with sisters sometimes but we dont let that fights to broke us apart….i hope you fix and ends well this matter with your sister…i think say sorry will not do any harm…Godbless


  2. marculyseas
    Nov 20, 2008 @ 05:37:07

    Namasker Gayatri, Sisterhood is a moving piece. you are a gifted writer. Write in a language you feel that truly conveys your emotions. please do not stop writing. Keep at it, for there is always someone out there who reads what you write. You have a responsibility. You are young, beautiful and more importantly you are the next generation of Balinese writers. You must write for Bali. Shukreya


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