NOSEY

Rumors are carried by haters/ spread by fools/ and accepted by idiots.

A lot of time I find myself amazed by how ‘creative’ people can be when related to other people’s life. They suddenly become an expert. You need certain amount of energy to commit to be nosey. You need all updates from any possible sources, of those people that you set your nose on. If you can’t find any other ‘reliable’ sources, then you need to know from the person him/herself. How? By carefully ask certain questions, and based on their honest answers, you then have your own ingredients to mix it up with your own perception, expectation, judgments, etc..and voila! A whole brand new side of the story. And just as exciting as Archimedes were, you will feel obliged to tell the world about it. You then congratulate yourself, thinking to yourself, what an achievement! You enjoy people’s reactions when they heard your (version of) story. The gasps, the wide open eyes, the confused look, disbelief..oh you do enjoy it all!

And how come I recognize nosey characters like this? Because I’ve been surrounded by them for the last 3 years or so. I read patterns, and I know. I learned by observing their cunning movements. At first I was easily get upset by their false way to see things about me or my family and felt the need to explain how it really happen or how things really are. But then after some time (because am such a fast learner) I know it’s useless. No need to explain, it will only wasting my energy because people like this, see things the way they wanted to see. So I simply wait. It just like reading a cheap tabloid, you know. Every so-called “hot news” is entertaining because if you’re an intelligent reader, you know how ridiculous it is. Not to mention if you know how these people live their life.. it become more and more ridiculous. There are many days when I have a nice chat with my husband before we go to bed, and start to giggling about certain ‘hot news’ being spread. Most of the times we’re laughing it out loud, giggling is just not enough for such a hot news. Giggling is a small appreciation, and laughing out loud is a big one. No?  

Sometimes it becomes nasty. You know when people have a severe nosey illness, they tends to take things seriously. By saying ‘seriously’, I mean their negativity grows. It’s not enough to be just a hot news on a cheap tabloid, they’re getting nasty by making a movement. An underground movement. Or so they thought they were doing. To me, underground or upper ground, I see it. I am not a psychic, but when you read patterns carefully, intuitively you know what are their next possible move. Not to mention you have to know quite a lot about psychology. The reason why people feeling comfortable within a crowd, is because they’re feeling secure, they thought they’re part of the majority, so that whatever the majority assume, it must be right. Sometimes they creating a simple plot to alienate the targets. They thought by doing it, the person will feel estranged, ignored, being left alone, and finally surrender to follow the crowd. Oh how often I notice such simple plot being created here and there surrounds me. What they don’t know, I can stand to be alone for as long as it needed. I always enjoy my aloneness within the crowd (sometimes you can’t avoid family gathering) and even felt better afterwards! I felt more amused because I know how their anxiety grows to see how content I am in such a negative conditioning. If it didn’t work, they might start to actually talk nicely but a bit sense of cynical way to express it. My replies, you bet it always, I mean always, a pure and carefully selected slap on their face. What to do, they’re ask for it. I don’t care whether they will hate me more or will be enlightened on the spot, it won’t add any value to my life anyway. The way they live their life is really none of my business.

I do have my own way to express my ‘frustration’ dealing with such nosey people around me: social media and blogging. To my surprise, certain friend who got nothing to do with whatever I post on social media, got very annoyed by my status, decided that I addressed that to her, felt very angry to me and deleted me as her contact. I was just so speechless. Apparently there are too many people in this world waiting to be offended by something. Anyway.. that too, is none of my business.

There are a few characters stand out in this illness. I have to admit their persistence to be nosey amazed me.  There’s always a new way, a new story, a new ‘analysis’ about our life being spread into the crowds. The most annoying character of all is the spoiled brat who thinks she’s so goddamn rebellious and such a one of a kind.. a miss-knows-it-all. But I can’t really blame her, by looking at the small world she’s live in. Of course she thought have seen it all.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope this nosey group one day realizes how much energy they’ve been wasted for something, somebody outside themselves. It’s really a sad thing to rule out your own life and be very busy with others’ life. They keep avoiding their own home works, their own problems and keep entertaining themselves that other people lead a troubled life. But Universe doesn’t work that way. One day they will be forced to face their own problems (I guess it’ll be loads of problems because they’re pending it for too long) and when that time comes, they wish they have more time. Don’t you remember, you gave YOUR time to ME before. Meanwhile, I will just let you enjoy your tiny ‘achievements’ and I hope you do realize, in every moment of life, only Time will tell and you may hear a small voice at the back of your head saying, “I saw it.” You know who that is? It’s Karma.   

Are you sure you’re a narcist?

My mother loves infotainment, she knows exactly what to watch, on which tv channel, at what time. My sister usually making fun of her habit by telling me to ask anything about any celebrities I have in mind, mom will know the answer because she got personal phone calls from them, telling her all the updates in their life, etc. Lol. If you live in Indonesia, you’ll learn fast how this kind of TV shows make lots of people- mostly women, somehow become addicted to it. It’s entertaining, it sure does. It’s basically a TV program about celebrities. Maybe it works like a gossip tabloids, from the simply curious to starstruck, it feeds them daily. Or in TV shows, on hourly basis.

If I come to the house to have a coffee date with my sister, sometimes I arrived just by the time my mom watch this infotainment thing. Poor me, I have no other choice while waiting for my sister to get ready, I sat down with my mom, and wonder to myself, why I need to know whatever things inside the car of this actress, or what kind of hair treatment she does. My mind become occupied by the question why I watch all this.

Then there’s one ‘success’ story of a young boyband, aged around 10 probably, four of them. They become phenomenal and even making their own movie. Their big fans? Young girls, preteens. At such young age, they already become hysterical to see their idols. OMG. I try to reflect it to myself when I was their age, did I become hysterical at someone who considered to be an idol? Don’t think so. But maybe today we live in a completely different world. I do remember going to Saigon Kick concert, when I was 13 or something, having a good time, but that’s it. I actually standing near them when they got onto the bus, going back to their hotel maybe, but I didn’t run to them asking for their famous signature or took pictures with them. I did have a good time to see them on stage, and that’s it.

And all this social media, let’s say facebook and twitter. These young girls proudly claim themselves being a narcist, Making all those silly faces and inviting poses, upload it intensely, without further consideration, even the blurred one can’t escape for being uploaded. Anytime, anywhere, you know the rest. On the surface, they do look like falling in love to themselves. But if you call yourself a narcist, how can you be hysterical to some bloody idol? Become hysterical meaning you’re deeply involved with something-somebody that can make you act out of your ‘normal’ mind. It just didn’t match, for being a narcist and a big fan of somebody else other than yourself. You might ‘like’ them, enjoy their performance and all, but you’ll never become a big big fan if you call yourself a narcist.

Yes we can give a good reasoning that at some point -especially when we were young- we do many silly stupid things that didn’t look right.  But isn’t it also better be at young age we learn something? That it’s better to spend your time doing something more useful than easily getting hysterical over some shallow idols? They too have all the possibility to become somebody which at some point earn their own fame.

Maybe it’s nothing, maybe I’m being overthinking about such simple matter. But still, if I notice one of my close family member acting hysterical like that, you bet I will be that annoying person to keep arguing with them why. Or if it’s one of my niece or nephew, I will give them a lesson. A hard one. Lol

 

A Short Visit to Crematorium

A few days ago, my sister asked me whether I can come with her to a crematorium. She said she needs to see the place so when the time come, everything will be ready. I was a bit startled, I asked her who will be cremated because for Balinese it’s not common to be cremated in a crematorium. Although nowadays crematorium becomes more acceptable for most people here, for its practicality and considerably cheaper compared to conventional Balinese cremation ceremony. To get a glimpse of balinese cremation ceremony, you can go to one of many website (in english) about it here.

I was a bit relieved when she said this is just the how-if-things, for her dog, not her. But just for the ‘fun’ of it, later I told my secretary that the next day I’ll go to a crematorium to ‘order’ arrangement in advance. His face turned pale and forbid me to say such things. Lol. Anyway, so the next day, off we go to the crematorium. There’s only 3 crematorium on this island and this one I think was the first crematorium among them.

It’s not just a crematorium but also a cemetery for Christians. The crematorium site is at the back (waaayyy back), so we have to drive past the narrow road where on our right and left, all those graves. It’s a bit spooky because there’s nobody else but us and ‘them’. I keep telling myself to not let my mind wondering around, going further to imagine they’re all standing on their graves. It’s a bit spooky because in balinese cemetery, there’s no tombstone, usually it’s a flat ground because most of the time it’s just for the cremation ground. So all these graves, each off them is quite big and most of them unattended with all those plants surrounds them..the dried out flowers since the last person visit the grave. Really, I was trying my best to not let my mind and imagination wander.  Below are some of the pictures I took that day :

once I sat on one of this chair, one of my colleague was cremated here.

We thought we’re gonna find somebody here, but nobody’s around. A few years ago, I was here, one of my colleague cremated here, she’s very young, around 23 years old and it was a sad moment because she’s just graduated and have her life ahead of her. Her son was just a toddler, looked very confused with the crowds. Again, it felt a bit spooky.

I wonder whether their family still live on the island, the plants need to be trimmed.

It was a broad daylight but I thought I watched too many horror movies already, I start to think that I might can’t think straight here. So I try to keep pushing the spooky part away, far away at the back of my head, and try to ‘enjoy’ the moment. It’s kinda give me a glimpse that life won’t last forever.  That this body of mine could heve ended here, buried in the most unscenic part of ‘paradise’ island. Although I’m pretty sure when the day comes I’ll be cremated in my village. Anyway, it’s worth to visit.

So on our way home, my sister and I talked about when her dog’s time comes. There’s a one way ambulance available to pick him up to the crematorium, but my sister said that we can take him here by our own. The cost would be around US$ 200, so my sister will have to keep the amount untouched on her bank account, things like that. She even keep one cute box to keep maybe one spoon of his ashes later, for a sweet reminder. I couldn’t be more agree with her, because as dog lovers, it’ll be as devastating moment as if one of your family member passed away. I know she feels this is important because I know how much she loves her dog, and also at the same time realize that burial will be a lot more difficult, the process of letting go. And also simply because there’s no space available to buried the dog at the house. I remember Osho once said, we meet Death everywhere we go. So this one short visit to crematorium indeed remind me of that. Family members, whether a person or a dog, both can create a hole in our heart. By realizing it sooner, kind of preparing our heart to stay strong, to have that power of letting go and move on. As to ourselves, Death is actually standing close to our door, ready to knock at our door anytime. That too, a reminder  to be prepared for our own final moment of life.

 

Duck Face

I wonder why people can’t just put on their normal face when taking pictures of themselves. Pre-teens or teenagers stick their tongue out. Or wink all the time. Or both. If it happens once a while, it probably cute whatever, but if in all pictures you used the same tongue-out faces, people like me will get really annoyed. I really want to ask them, ‘what’s wrong with you?’ Or maybe I should ask,’you sure you don’t need a doctor? That tongue might needs to be fixed.’

Another making faces thing that really annoyed me is when people have a habit to put on that duck face. I won’t tell what this duck face is, I bet most of you know about it. So many blog postings about this duck face too anyway. I just want to tell you MY thoughts about duck-faced women (or men). Unless you look breathtakingly charming, a duck face here and there maybe won’t annoyed other people that much. Maybe people like me will find our excuses for you. But if you look ‘average’ (sorry I don’t mean to be harsh, we need to be conciously humble about the way we look) and you keep making that duck face, again I need to ask them, can’t you just smile?  And actually you don’t even need to smile if the energy is right, maybe your eyes that do the smiling part. Things like that. The right aura surrounds you and bingo- no need to smile at all. Maybe. If you already familiar with your own energy.

I have a friend, well not exactly a ‘friend’ but just somebody in my blackberry contacts. She’s actually good looking, she’s a model. Or so she said and the way she poses, very much a model. But she’s a truly duck face makers. Every pose, almost perfect- she knows how to make her body slimmer and all, but then when you look at her face..here we go again with that lips, she’s impersonating a duck. I’m sorry to say, she looks much more silly by making faces like that. I don’t mean to be a judging person, like I said, one or two duck faces out of  20 pictures maybe acceptable. But on each picture, all the time? Oh come on!

I don’t have a clue why people making faces..maybe trying to look cute? Adorable? Or just simply a habit?  They look much better without trying to look like a duck. No offense to ducks. I love Donald since I was a little girl. But let’s just keep the duck-face thing to the ducks. You’ll never be as cute as a duck than the duck. Got it?

“Joyride” dengan Kuda Hindustan

This is an article I wrote from ages ago! Lol. I thank Universe for the chance to see another part of the world. I mean who wouldn’t love India with all her uniqueness? But the most interesting part of my time there was to find loads of Osho’s books. A young woman from “paradise Island” traveled to a far far land and surprised herself finding another paradise : a small bookshop in the middle of nowhere. 😀

What? Huh? Really? Why? Oh. Ok. *Lol

Orang memanfaatkan media sosial dengan cara yang berbeda. Selain sarana utk posting informasi, biasanya yang jg mencuat di permukaan adalah seputar narsisme dan kegalauan. Jenis-jenis foto yang di-upload juga berbeda tergantung minat masing2 org. Saya sering meng-upload foto anjing2 saya. Org lain mengupload kucing dan sebagian lg sering meng-upload foto anaknya, atau dirinya sendiri- sama2 berbagai pose. Ada yg pernah protes ke saya, “kok upload foto anjing melulu sih?”.. I’m speechless. Apakah saya pernah protes kalo ybs meng-upload foto anaknya, bahkan foto yg blur sekalipun? Saya cuma senyum2 aja- don’t know what to say.

A Faraway Friend

Out of the blue, he called me on the phone. How long has it been- since the last time we spoke, maybe a year and a half? Probably more though he denied it. To tell you the truth, I’m happy to hear his voice again. The broken English with such a strong Indian accent that makes me unconsciously adjust my accent into his. There’s no awkward moments just because we haven’t get in touch for quite some time, we still have the same quarrel about some things. He still call me with the same nick name that so familiar to my ears.